Humour& humeursMay 8, 2007 12:36 pm
I receive on a daily basis e-mails from African crooks telling me almost the same story:
" FROM MR USMAN KAMAL..
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO. CONFIDENCIAL
DEAR FRIEND,
I AM THE MANAGER OF BILL AND EXCHANGE AT THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE
DEPARTMENT
OF BANK OF AFRICA(B.O.A) HERE IN OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA FASO. IN MY
DEPARTMENT
WE DISCOVERD AN ABANDONED SUM OF$25 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS(TWENTY
FIVE
MILLION US DOLLARS IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGE TO ONE OF OUR FORIEGN
CUSTOMER(MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER FROM MUNICH, GERMANY) WHO DIED ALONG
WITH HIS
ENTIRE FAMILY IN JULY 2000 IN A PLANE"
I usually reply to their e-mails telling them stories crazier than their own. Here’s an example:
FROM DOCTOR OMAR KHAYYAM
GENERAL MANAGER OF
GENERAL MANAGER OF
THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL OF
OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO. CONFIDENTIAL
BURKINA FASO. CONFIDENTIAL
Dear patient,
I am the General Manager of the Psychiatric Hospital of Ouagadougou.
I am also a psychiatric doctor specialized in megalomany and paranoia.
Your family doctor told me that you are mentally sick: you suffer from hallucinations of paranoid-schizoid nature. For example, you believe that and behave like if you were
the BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER AT THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE
DEPARTMENT OF THE BANK OF AFRICA(B.O.A) in Ougadougou.
DEPARTMENT OF THE BANK OF AFRICA(B.O.A) in Ougadougou.
Your doctor told me, too, that you dreamed that you discovered in your own imaginary bank department an abandoned sum of $25 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS .
That crazy dream didn’t make me laugh. We, doctors, don’t make fun of our patients. Your case is serious, dear ptient. Your doctor suggested that you be transferred to our hospital. That’s what I recommend you immediately.
I think your mental health is alarmingly deteriorating.
Don’t be afraid of being locked up in a psychiatric hospital. Mental illness is not quite different from physical diseseses and nowadays it is possible to recover after an adequate treatment.
Are you ready to be treated in our hospital? It’s free. You will not pay anything. It’s the Health Ministry of Burkina Faso who will be in charge of the whole treatment - including medication - and your 3-month stay in our hospital.
Please, think it over immediately. I’ll stay in contact with your doctor until your final decision.
I wish we will see you soon among our patients.
Take care !
DOCTOR OMAR KHAYYAM
GENERAL MANAGER OF
GENERAL MANAGER OF
THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL OF
OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO
BURKINA FASO
